


Head Over Tractor

by adrisbee



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Tractor Jousting AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 04:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9965027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adrisbee/pseuds/adrisbee
Summary: Merrill is new in town, and she's been told that Isabela is the gal to go to for instructions on what tractor jousting is, and how to do it. Where will this lead? Hopefully to a quick spar, and then a nice roll in the hay.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For information on what tractor jousting is, [check this short informative post here!](http://adrisbee.tumblr.com/post/155904531090)

It takes Isabela a moment to process what Merrill asks her. _Teach me to tractor joust._ She looks her up and down, taking in the Dalish elf with braids in her hair, a green cotton t-shirt, grey flannel, and dust on her jeans. Sneakers, not workboots. New to town, but not to the country.

“You’re the new girl, right? You look like you know your way around a farm.” Merrill nods, and Isabela’s lips curve into a smile. “So what do you need _me_ for, kitten? Surely you know how to ride a tractor. You look like a girl who can figure the jousting out. It’s not _that_ complicated. Have fun, keep your balance, and know when to rev things up.”

Merrill frowns and crosses her arms. “Hawke says you know more about jousting than anyone in town. That no one beats you when it comes to riding tractors. They said you had the smoothest acceleration, always knew when to push on the pedals, and- _oh_.” Isabela almost laughs as a furious pink blush flushes on Merrill’s cheeks and ears. Almost. The Dalish girl gives her a sheepish look, complete with a little ear twitch. “I think I misunderstood Hawke when they said ‘jousting.’”

“Hawke’s an ass. My specialty is _both_ .” Isabela gives Merrill a wink and motions her to follow down to where the tractors are parked. She walks up to one and smiles, giving the metal an affectionate pat. “So, what type of jousting _are_ you looking for?”

“The one you usually do with horses. The not-sex one.”

“We can do that. Grab some plywood from the stack near the barn, I’ll go get my boxing gloves.” Merrill’s still blushing as Isabela leaves her by the tractors, but she has a look that makes it seem like the gears are starting to click. The boxing gloves are hanging in their usual spot next to the tractor keys, well-used but perfect for the job, with just a little bit of damage from when Hawke accidentally let a goat get at the left glove once. Isabela takes them from where they were looped around a nail, and pockets two sets of keys while she’s at it.

Merrill gives her a questioning look as she walks back. “Are we sticking the boxing gloves on the plywood?”

“Sharp,” Isabela grins. “Softens the blow. We’re not jousting to the death over here. Besides, the plywood snaps to stop you from actually injuring someone too badly. Don’t want to smash a pretty face.”

“Oh, that makes more sense. I was wondering how Anders and Fenris were still alive earlier. Hawke says they joust to solve a lot of disputes.”

Isabela shrugs. “Not even that rivalry has a real death wish. It works out.”

“Thank you for helping me, Isabela. I know I’m keeping you from the rest of the party.”

“Pssh, don’t worry about it. Hawke throws one of these things every other weekend. Besides, I don’t turn down sweet things like yourself.”

Merrill’s blush comes back. “You’re.. Very kind,” she stammers. “And pretty. And good at tractors. And jousting.”

“Mm.” Isabela steps toward Merrill, hooking her thumbs in the loops of her jeans. “We have some time. Want me to show you how it’s _really_ done?”

Merrill’s eyes go wide, but her lips turn up into a smile. “I’d like that.”

“Perfect,” Isabela purrs. “Then let’s get to it. Hop up in the tractor.”

“We’re really going to do this on the tractor?”

“Where _else_ do you go jousting in this town, kitten?”

“I don’t know. The hayloft. A field.”

Isabela winks, tossing Merrill a set of tractor keys. “Wrong type of jousting. Everyone here knows that the secret to getting a ride in _my_ tractor is besting me in combat.”

“ _Oh_ , I thought- oh dear.” Merrill turns beet red. “I think I lost track of the metaphors.”

“Don’t worry, I was trying to trip you up.” Isabela hops up into the tractor, balancing her makeshift lance in her lap as she starts the ignition. She looks up and sees that Merrill, twitching ears and all, has done the same. “Shall we ride?” she says, flashing a grin.

Merrill takes it well, this time smiling back. “I know how to drive these things.” And she does. Isabela leads of course, and the two of them end up driving into position in an empty patch of land that’s closer to where the main party is.

“Tractors out already, Isabela?” Hawke calls out from sitting on a hay bale next to Fenris, red solo cup in hand.

“Some of us like having _fun_ at parties, Hawke.”

“Can’t keep your hands off the new girl, Isabela?” Varric joins in. “And on the night I forgot my book.”

Fenris snorts. “It’s in your back pocket.”

Varric gives him a wicked grin. “So it is. I should be calling you eagle-eyes.”

“Oh, get on with it,” Isabela says, turning her tractor around to face Merrill’s.

“Careful, Rivaini,” Varric heckles. “Don’t tip!”

“Are you saying that because you care, or because you’re about to make money?” she quips.

“I have my reasons.” He winks, and then turns to face Merrill. “Hey Daisy, you all set?”

“Ready!” Merrill calls back, her tractor and lance both in position.

“Rivaini?”

“For a man like you? Anytime.”

“On the count of three. One, two, _three_!”

The tractors lurch forward, and the audience cheers as Isabela and Merrill race toward each other. Isabela’s ready, she’d done this for years now. So when Merrill’s lance sneaks under hers and knocks the wind out of her, it catches her by surprise. Hawke and the others cheer at the sound of Merrill’s snapping lance, and even Varric is grinning as the tractors pass each other and she and Merrill bring them to stops.

Taking a moment to gasp for breath, Isabela, puts a hand to her side and lowers herself down from the seat. “Nice shot,” she says to an excited but concerned-looking Merrill. “You’re a natural.”

“Are you alright?” Merrill asks, tugging at the hem of her flannel. “And, um, thank you. You were a good teacher.”

Isabela smiles and leans forward to whisper in Merrill’s ear. “If you can do me this good in front of an audience, I can’t wait to see what happens when we’re somewhere a little more private.”

“Do you mean- yes, yes I’d like that,” Merrill replies, her ears flicking and going pink.

Fenris scoffs from behind them. “Get a room!”

“Jealousy’s not your color, Fenris,” Isabela banters back. “Now where were we, sweet thing?”

“I think you were about to show me the other jousting you were talking about.”

Isabela smiles. “I think I was.”


End file.
